FUCKED UP FOR ALL ETERNITY
she had the messiah thing
that some of them get
and maybe it’s true—
maybe she DID
save someone from
being molested, raped
or killed
who knows
about such things?
she told me
about guys who paid her
to piss or shit in their mouths
guys who paid her
to pretend to be a dead girl
an unwilling girl
or a little girl
begging them
in a squeaky voice
to “fuck me harder, daddy!”
I said “Wow…that’s fucked up!”
she smiled and said
“I feed my kids off it being fucked up.
Fucked up ain’t goin’ nowhere, honey.”
SQUEEZED
of course, I dream about it—
fame, a life of leisure…don’t we all?
but then, how good would it be?
if I didn’t have to get up at four a.m.
if I didn’t have to squeeze the writing in
if I didn’t have to steal time on the job
to scribble ideas on scraps of paper
maybe if I could relax
sleep til noon
it’d all go to shit
I’d become like the country star
who sings songs about drinking cheap beer
and driving a beat up truck
down that muddy Mississippi road
but now sips cognac in the evenings
and tools down Sunset Boulevard
in an 80 thousand dollar SUV
maybe I need the morning madness
the frosted windshield
the frozen fingers
and the freeway
the crush of the 8 or 10 hour day
the demanding bosses
the idiotic coworkers
and then having to rush to the bank
the post office
the grocery store
after work
and wait in long lines
growling
gritting my teeth
maybe I need this neighborhood—
the moans of the disabled
from next door
that drunk in the alley
pissing on our fence
the thump of bass at 2 a.m.
an occasional gunshot
a cop outside my window
with a flashlight
maybe I even need the rising rents
the instability
the possibility of the streets
a return to the bottle
insanity
no love
no life
maybe I just need to be squeezed
and my words are the juice—
sweet, bitter, or salty
unpasteurized
and full of pulp
Brian Rihlmann was born in New Jersey and currently resides in Reno, Nevada. He writes free verse poetry, and has been published in The Blue Nib, The American Journal of Poetry, Cajun Mutt Press, The Rye Whiskey Review, and others. His first poetry collection, “Ordinary Trauma,” (2019) was published by Alien Buddha Press.
–Art by Giuseppe Milo